It's not a clickbait title – my writing journey, for the most part, ends here.

I'm not saying it'll stop entirely, because I still want to at the very least get all 10 of my cool, real-life stories written.

But as far as regular posting goes, including my weekly newsletter, I'm afraid I'm once again going on an indefinite hiatus with my writing.

"Once again?" you might think to yourself.

The activity I was never obsessed with

You see, writing and creating content were activities that I was never absolutely in love with, to begin with.

They were phases, just like how you might have a punk rock music phase, or an arts and crafts phase.

Sometimes, we really enjoy certain things in the moment, but over time, they lose their luster.

And truth be told, writing was one of those things for me.

To simplify this, we're going to condense "writing and creating content" into "writing," since most of the content I created was in the form of writing.

Let's take a trip back in time to 2015.

If you've seen my previous content, you might know that my writing journey didn't begin because I was a fan of writing.

It started as a way for me to have something to pour my emotions out, when nobody around me cared about what I was going through or would hear me out.

Photo via Midjourney

I took to the Internet to vent and talk about the changes I wanted to see in the world.

When you couple the need to vent with:

  • A growing audience that appreciates what you write,
  • Platforms to write on,
  • And determination to make the world a better place,

you get a writer like me.

What you don't get, and what you're not guaranteed, is someone who loves and is obsessed with writing.

No matter how good they are at it.

You might think I'm a good writer and I'd thank you for your regard, but I'm not emailing you today to just tell you about my putting down the pen.

What a movie about a young genius made me think about

If you haven't seen Good Will Hunting yet, it's a great movie and you should know that there are going to be spoilers in this section.

If you have seen it or are fine with spoilers, proceed.

In the movie, we have a genius kid named Will Hunting, the titular character and protagonist of the movie.

He's absolutely brilliant and well-versed in complicated subjects like math, science, and history, but there's something else that's interesting about him.

He's not particularly drawn to those subjects like a moth to a flame.

At one point in the movie, he mocks how easy the math material he's being put to work on is.

More importantly, his therapist (Sean) butts heads with the math professor (Gerald) who's been putting Will to work on math, and Sean asks Gerald, with regard to the math work:

"What if it's not what he (Will) wants (to do)?"

What if, in spite of Will's talent in math work, Will doesn't want to work on calculations and math problems for the rest of his life?

I think of that movie when I look at myself in the mirror now.

What if, in spite of my ability to write and create content, I don't want to do this?

I've been writing on and off for several years for a reason. It's like I've been writing in seasons.

  • I'd go for many months without writing or creating any kind of content.
  • Then, I'd feel a burst of passion and swing back into it.
  • Then, that passion would wane and I'd stop writing again.

And this process has repeated itself multiple times in my life.

Writing never has come naturally to me, and while I've enjoyed it in moments, I'm starting to realize that it's not something I can see myself doing consistently because I don't like it enough.

If it feels like a chore, perhaps it's a sign I need to take a step back and evaluate what I'm doing, and rethink why I'm doing it.

Learn this difference or pay an irreparable price

Passion and talent are two extremely different things, and knowing the difference separates a well-lived life from a depressing one.

Photo via Midjourney

If you chase something you're talented at but you don't like it or even hate doing it, even though you're good at it and it could reap you rewards, you'll never be able to shake that inner turmoil and resentment, and it'll eat you up and stress you out inside.

If you chase something you enjoy doing and are passionate about, while you might not be as good as Johnny or Sally are at it, you'll love the journey and you won't get tired of it. You care less about the rewards because you're getting one of the greatest rewards of them all, which is that you're enjoying the work you are doing.

If there's one thing I've learned from the years I've spent writing on and off, it's this:

Loving the process is more important than what the process could bring you in the end.

Once again, I never started writing because I loved this process. It started off as an obligation to my mental health.

One large motivator for me to continue writing were my testimonials and people letting me know what kind of positive changes in their lives my content was bringing them.

While I don't like letting people down, especially those who support my writing and want to see me do more of it, I'm sure my audience would not want to see me become miserable doing something I'm quite certain I don't have the passion for.

I can still contribute to the world in other ways outside of writing, but I have to look after myself too.

Which brings us to you, the reader.

I don't know what you individually are doing in your own life, but I'm telling you now that you shouldn't pursue something just because you're good at it.

Being good at something is great, but doing something you love doing is even better.

I don't like seeing talent go to waste, so if it doesn't burden you too much, perhaps you can show others the way with your tips and tricks that make you so good at what you are.

But making a living out of doing something you don't like doing is a different matter entirely.

All the content I've made on this website will stay up for people to enjoy in perpetuity, and I will be in talks with my paying subscribers about cancellations and reimbursements for their paying support.

Where will I go now?

I'm not entirely sure where to go from here.

Creating content, writing, speaking to others on stages...I've had quite a few ideas in the past that really all revolved around helping others directly through my content and words.

But I don't think that's where I'm headed in the future.

Part of the first things I've ever written online had to do with changing the world for the better, so I'm going to end my newsletter with this:

Be a little more empathetic when it comes to people who don't know what they want to do with their lives.

Of course, I don't recommend swimming through life never giving a care about what you want to make of yourself, but society puts a lot of pressure on people to have their compasses aligned 24/7.

  • You get asked when you're a kid what you want to do when you're older.
  • You get pressured into specific majors in college, and you get frowned upon when you're an "undecided" major.
  • You get ridiculed for not knowing what you want to do, or where you want to go in life.
Having moments in your life where you're not certain what your next move is isn't a disease, nor is it something that you should be ashamed of.

Nobody's perfect and nobody has all the answers all the time.

Keep casting your net and try out different things until something sticks is what I say.

But once again, talent isn't always the answer, and chasing what you're good at when it brings you no joy can be more destructive than you realize.

As cliche as it sounds, life is too short to be spent doing things you don't get excited about for longer than necessary.

Practice self-awareness, and I wish you all the best.

With Determination,

Lucas Hawthorne