I'm going to just get right into it with my hot take of the day:
If all you’re advertising is your looks, you don’t really have much to offer.
What I want for you to get out of this article is the reality check that being hot, handsome, or cute, isn't enough to cut it, and for your own sake, you should stop entertaining people just because they are physically attractive.
We'll talk about why this is an issue what it leads to, as well as what we should be doing instead to create healthier dating culture as well as more appropriate social connections and interactions.
The arrogance of the attractive
This section title isn't separating "the attractive" into an "other" category. This is also not me making this an "us vs. them" type of deal.
But I've noticed, particularly a lot more so from some physically attractive people, a unique kind of arrogance that you don't find in your typical everyday person.
Here are some examples of what I'm referring to:
- A hot chick getting pissed off because you had the guts to actually disagree with her and call her out on her BS when she's used to every man keeling over for her.
- A handsome dude not even acknowledging you because you're not one of the hot, popular girls.
- That one girl who calls herself a 10 just because she looks good and thus expects whoever she dates to pay for everything, including her own bills, from the get-go.
If a less physically attractive person acted like a brat in a similar manner, no one would even look their way.
And while we supposedly know that looks aren't everything, we still, to this day, give good-looking people more of a pass than others.
Why would you let a good-looking person treat you like dirt just because they're good-looking?
Is it because you want to get with them? To hook up with them? To date them?
If they're already treating you like dirt before you're even cuffed, you shouldn't be going for them.
I would know as someone who was treated like dirt when he was younger, even by those he wasn't romantically interested in.
It's what's "on the inside" that matters, right?
I briefly touched upon the notion that we supposedly know and preach that looks aren't everything above.
And we usually tie that with the idea that it's what's on the inside that matters.
Let me share with you something I made back in January 2017.
And I don't think I've ever posted this online before, so this is a treat.
Math was never my strong suit, but remembering y = mx + b inspired me to create this graph showing how relationships generally play out depending on one's looks and personality.
As you can see on the graph, Person A might be a "10" in looks, but their personality leaves a lot to be desired, which creates a negative slope.
While the relationship might initially start off on a higher note because the person is hotter than Person B (people can get more excited by a more physically attractive person), the quality of the relationship will inevitably deteriorate over time because personality impacts a relationship profoundly more than looks do.
On the other hand, while a relationship with Person B might start off on a lower note due to lower physical attractiveness, the relationship would be a lot healthier over time due to Person B's more desirable and attractive personality.
Obviously, this graph oversimplifies the complexities of human romantic relationships, but you get my point.
A dime a dozen
To close this off, we'll do a callback to an article I wrote some time ago.
In it, I talked about how to avoid putting your crushes on pedestals, and I mentioned that there are attractive guys and girls all over the place.
I don't know what kind of standards you have, but it's not hard for me to go outside and come across someone who I'd consider to be physically attractive.
I don't say "offer" to put human relationships in the frame of business transactions or exchanges, but you need to be able to look beyond the surface to get to the meat of what matters.
Attractive people are a dime a dozen, and you can't kiss the feet of somebody and give them a pass for their poor behavior or values simply because they are attractive.
I'd argue that that's one of humanity's (especially men's) greatest weaknesses – being easily swayed and influenced by the charm of one's beauty.
Of course we value attractiveness, and I'm not saying to rule it out entirely. I personally care a lot about physical attractiveness when it comes to romantic relationships, and I don't think I could be in a relationship with someone I'm not physically attracted to.
But when you look at how important it is relative to one's character, values, beliefs, and actions, there's no contest.
If you're cute, so what?
Tell me more about who you are.