What’s the link between dating and determination?
Even though I’m a Gen Z kid myself, I still have a hard time getting used to some of the slang those younger than me come up with these days.
“Rizz” is one such slang that refers to one’s courtship/seduction abilities.
It’s a truncated version of the word “cha-ris-ma.”
Now I wouldn’t consider myself a seducer or player, even though recently, a few different guys have told me that I have “rizz” and a girl called me “captivating.”
I’ll take the compliments gratefully, but if there’s any dating appeal when it comes to who I am, there’s a harsh truth behind it that I’d like to share with you today, and it’s this:
The link between dating and determination
Dating is a numbers game. More importantly, it is a test of mental grit and determination.
I don’t say the former to encourage people to treat people like they’re just a part of a game. That is to say, I don’t want people to not take others’ hearts and feelings seriously.
I also don’t want to encourage people to look at prospective partners like numbers. We shouldn’t reduce each other to just right or left swipes.
But if you’re anything like me, and like plenty of other people out there, you’re going to have to eat countless rejections before you can find someone you truly click with.
In other words, you’re going to have to stay determined through the swath of rejections you face.
Unless you’ve got a really good gift and appeal for the pool of people you’re trying to attract, most of your attempts to court someone will end in rejection.
You also have to understand that you’re not perfect.
Life is one long game of self-improvement.
If you face plenty of rejections, perhaps it’s a sign that there’s something you could be working on that would improve your chances of getting a “yes” once addressed.
Maybe you’re extremely unkempt or your financial situation is in shambles.
Maybe you’re well out of shape and you don’t take your health seriously.
It’s things like this that tend to be unattractive, but at the same time, all of these things are ultimately under your control.
Take responsibility for your life and your circumstances and focus on improving yourself.
You should be doing this anyway because hopefully you’re your own biggest cheerleader and you want yourself to do well.
And it is after that and only after that, that appealing to the pool of people you’re romantically interested comes in. Increasing your romantic appeal comes second to your own well-being.
The truth is, I’m no superstar.
I’m no “rizz god,” a title someone recently bestowed upon me because they saw me with some cute girl on social media.
I’m just a guy who never truly gave up, and won’t give up.
I labeled the truth as “harsh” in my title because it’s not always easy to grasp that the key to succeeding in dating is to not give up.
When you face rejection after rejection for most of your life like I did, your only two options are as follows:
- You either give up on dating and swear yourself to singledom for the rest of your life.
- You stay determined and open-minded to finding a potential partner, no matter how low the odds seem.
You don’t have to operate in a state of pure determination 24/7. You can temporarily give up, AKA take a break from dating, if you need to. I’ve done that a number of times in my life because sometimes, it gets really darn stressful. I really do empathize.
But it’s just like how I described it a few weeks ago in a different article:
And in the end, that’s all it really boils down to.